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advice on the "why transfer" common app essay

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Hi guys! So I am (still) in the stage of editing my first draft, and I was thinking about how I have my essay structured. I started off with sort of an anecdote from high school about my interests, and finished that paragraph with an experience I had in my first semester at the current school I am attending. Then in the second paragraph, I talk about the major I am in right now, and my reasonings for wanted to switch and therefore wanting to transfer to a different school. (I also used a quote in the middle of this paragraph because I thought maybe it would help make my point a little clearer??) And then in my final paragraph I talk about how I am grateful for the experiences I had at my current school, and that this experience made me realize I need to go out and follow my true passions. And then I finish out by talking about my goals and aspirations for my new school. Although I feel like the anecdote at the beginning is helpful to understanding the decision I have made, do you think I should just skip story-time and just explicitly tell them why I want to transfer and what I hope to achieve? ALSO, what do you guys think about putting a quote in there? (I know a lot of people think it's cliche). Would anyone be willing to read it once I've cleaned it up a little bit?? Thanks!!!

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